Why I Chose to Return to my PWI for Grad School

Since I was 13, I always wanted to attend an HBCU. The culture, the blackness, and the plethora of black men always fascinated me. After applying to colleges, I finally got into the HBCU of my dreams, but reality hit me when that tuition price hit my mailbox. I chose to go with the SEC PWI, because it was a different scene. I wanted to see the world in a different light filled with football and hardcore academics... and that's what I got, a very different non-diverse light. I can't even lie, being at a PWI was hard for me as a black woman. It was a culture shock. It's funny looking back on my four years at this institution, because I was in very awkward situations, like being one of only two black people in my introductory classes. I can make a list of the many microaggressions that I encountered at this school. Sometimes I even think back on situations and cry, because no one should have to go through reading racist Yik Yak posts about their friend's death a day after they passed away. I shouldn't have been scared for my life and education because I wrote a couple of tweets exposing the racist culture of our DT area.... but I was, and I let that get to me and I silenced myself.

Through all of this, I believe that being here at a PWI made me more aware of my blackness. It made me appreciate myself, and those that paved the way for me to even step foot on this institution. I also learned what I could and couldn't tolerate in a majority white environment. I am thankful for the amazing black women I had as friends, and the black orgs that I was involved in, because it helped me feel at home... comfortable. I can also say that this strengthened my mental health because chronic stress can definitely result from feeling unwelcomed in this type of environment.

So why did I stay at this PWI? I stayed, because I have so much work to do. I believe that my voice can help so many black undergrad students through the tough time of being the minority at a PWI. I also became attached to the city... a city that has been called one of the poorest in the nations. A city where the residents of color work on campus and can't receive a living wage, yet their ancestors built this billion dollar institution on their backs. I came back, because my work here is not quite done. The academics and my grad program is amazing, but this city and the residents taught me a lot about myself. This is why I always stress to students the importance of giving back to the community, because we have privileges that many people don't have. Through all of the hardships and sometimes feeling alone, I too, STILL belong at this PWI. My education is just as important as any other person... as any other white person.