Does My Black Hair Offend You?

To whom it may concern,

In 2006 India Arie beautifully sang “I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am not your expectations. I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within”. Hair in the African American woman community is an accessory that complements our beauty. It represents our strength, courage and creativity. From Braids, dread locks, relaxed, texturized, natural hair to weave we use our hairstyles as a form of expression. We defend our hairstyles because it is our culture. We defend our hairstyles because nappy, kinks and bb’s are deemed negative terms. We defend our hairstyles because we are constantly told that locks will hinder us from getting jobs. We defend our hairstyles because “extensions” are classy but weave is equivalent to identity issues. We defend our hairstyles because we are shamed from childhood to adulthood. We defend our hairstyles because we are proud of our black hair. We are tired of being criticized and judged because of the strands that grow from our scalp. We want the world to know that our hair is a representation of our creativity.

My fellow sisters, we must uplift each other because the world is against us. Stop creating a divide between us because of our different styles, colors, and choices. Stop the natural vs. relaxed divide.. Educate one another. We are one.

My fellow brothers, do not run to a specific hair type because of what the media shows you as beautiful. We are all different, from kinky curly to loose curls. Stay out of black women’s hair. This doesn’t mean you can’t massage your girl’s scalp with castor oil or help her with her twist out… this means to keep your hair opinions to yourself.  Why waste your energy on worrying about black women hair relations when there are so many other things in the world that could benefit from your POSITIVE energy? You attract what you put out in the world. As black women, we have the freedom to do whatever we please with our hair. Let us be happy.

White women… no you may not touch our hair. Yes, wishing to have black babies for black hair is offensive. It is okay to appreciate our culture, but ask questions, continue to learn and be open minded. Stop claiming old trends and give black sisters who rocked cornrows and baby hairs in the 90s credit. It is okay to admire our hairstyles, just know your history.

My short hair, dreads, kinky curly hair, sister locks, bantu knots, twist outs, chemically relaxed hair, waves, bonnets, Malaysian weave, mid-back length hair, and head wraps should not offend you.

Support us, don’t abandon us.

Signed,

Ms. Tired, and Fed Up