Hope I Don't Get Killed for Being Black Today: A Reflection

If they gun me down:

• Protest
• Post my video with Trigger warnings only
• Keep your mental health up
• Make sure the media depicts me as an educated, carefree black girl
• Fight for police reform
• Tell congress to put money into public health research on police brutality
• Support my family
• Make sure all GoFundMe funds go into paying off my student debt
• Start a scholarship fund for black girls wanting to go into STEM living in areas of low SES
• Give my twitter password to my best friend.

I shouldn't have to sit here and write a list of things my family and friends should do if my blood somehow end up on the hands of police officers that see my skin as a threat. Everyday I fear for my life. Five miles per hour over the speed limit could cause one bad encounter with the wrong one and cost me my life. What if my name is the next hashtag? What if my face is on the next poster at a Black Lives Matter protest. All of these things run through my mind and my mental health is suffering because of it. "Keep your mental health up, my brothas and sistas" as I type on my social media pages, making sure that everyone is okay, when in actuality i'm not okay, because another video, another hashtag, another death pops up every month or so. If you're reading this... this post somehow popped up on your Facebook feed or Twitter TL. I want you to know that we must make a change. Your silence speaks volume, and your voice will forever be heard if you use it, for good. I'm tired of using videos, statistics and analogies to convince people that our lives matter. Tiredness will be the death of me until I don't have to sit here and write a list of things my family and friends should do if my blood somehow ends up on the hands of police officers that see my skin as a threat.

Why We Shouldn't Cut Ryan Lochte Slack

Since when is a 32 year old man considered a "kid having fun in another country"? I guess when he is a white Olympic gold medalist. Man, let me tell you something about white privilege, it is not some made up term by millennials, it's absolutely real. White privilege is being able to make up a heroic story about getting robbed and people are absolutely okay with it. White privilege is being called a "kid" when caught in a lie, yet 12 and 18 year old black boys can't get justice because they are seen as men in the eyes of police. White privilege is support from the media after causing a huge scandal, but Gabby Douglas has to deal with the media's criticism because she didn't put her hand up for the national anthem. White privilege is calling Lochte's story fabricated or exaggerated instead of holding him accountable for his lie.

Ryan Lochte is a grown man, and let's not down play that. I don't want an apology from Lochte stating that he over-exaggerated a story... I want him to recognize that what he did was absolutely wrong. He had the nerve to paint this picture of Brazilians making it look as if they are thieves and savages; when in actuality he couldn't hold his liquor, committed an act of vandalism and fled the country. He also abandoned his teammates in Rio, and in response all he had to say was "I apologize for not being more careful and candid, it was very immature"... I think what he meant is that he is sorry for not being a good liar, because what he did was illegal. We need to do better and start holding white people accountable for their "immature" actions. No, actually... white people need to do better and start holding other white people accountable for their "immature" actions. I'm so tired of seeing black people's mental health suffer because of white-washed media when white men are defended for doing wrong and embarrassing our country.

All I am saying is that if this was someone else (especially a black athlete), this would be a whole different story. I'm pretty sure their medals and endorsements would've been revoked the second the Olympic officials found out they had lied. Child, I'm currently stirring my drink like Al Roker.


**Update Ryan Lochte has an endorsement with a company that makes crime prevention devices, what a time to be white.

The Black Church's Role in Social Justice and Public Health

What is really upsetting to me is the black church's silence on health and social justice related issues. I think the biggest fear the church has is being labeled as liberal. One thing that I can say is that Jesus was a social justice advocate and he healed people from many different illnesses. We can still open our arms to those in need, because Jesus said Judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7:1-3).. so why are we condemning people for who they love when our brothers and sisters are dying from gun violence and HIV?

When it comes to social justice, I think about the Civil Rights movement and how the church was the meeting ground for organizing protests and community meetings. I truly want to know what changed? After the shooting in Charleston, I really thought that black churches would speak up against gun violence, but I didn't hear anything... there was silence. I have heard of many older adults and preachers not supporting Black Lives Matter, because they think it is shameful to our community. I know that they truly don't understand the movement, but if we could just have dialogues in our churches about the disproportionate amount of black people killed by the police in our community, our mental health would be so much better. The church is the common ground for many black people and I believe that it is time to change the outlook that the black church has on modern day civil rights. I also believe that we can't pick and choose who we advocate for. When we say that Black Lives Matter that means that black women and black LGBTQ lives also matter. We can pray for whomever but we also need to #SayHerName and take action.

The black church has no idea how many lives it could save if we start implementing (more) public health interventions and programs into our place of worship. Black people are suffering from health disparities which means that we are dying from non-communicable diseases at a higher rate than any other race. Non-communicable as in preventable diseases. We really have to break the taboo and start talking about issues that are impacting us, like intimate partner violence, sexual health, and mental illnesses. In order for this to work we also have to stop victim blaming women who have been sexually assaulted or involved in domestic violent relationships. We also must stop shaming our brothers and sisters with STIs... especially our gay brothers with HIV. We have a health care system that is against us and it is time to bring resources to our place of gathering. Many public health departments and non-profit organizations are willing to bring programs into our churches. We just have to open our doors.

Special shout out to those black churches that are involved in their communities, especially the pastors that have been working in Ferguson since the killing of Mike Brown.

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the LORD’s favor has come." Luke 4:18-19

Why I Chose to Return to my PWI for Grad School

Since I was 13, I always wanted to attend an HBCU. The culture, the blackness, and the plethora of black men always fascinated me. After applying to colleges, I finally got into the HBCU of my dreams, but reality hit me when that tuition price hit my mailbox. I chose to go with the SEC PWI, because it was a different scene. I wanted to see the world in a different light filled with football and hardcore academics... and that's what I got, a very different non-diverse light. I can't even lie, being at a PWI was hard for me as a black woman. It was a culture shock. It's funny looking back on my four years at this institution, because I was in very awkward situations, like being one of only two black people in my introductory classes. I can make a list of the many microaggressions that I encountered at this school. Sometimes I even think back on situations and cry, because no one should have to go through reading racist Yik Yak posts about their friend's death a day after they passed away. I shouldn't have been scared for my life and education because I wrote a couple of tweets exposing the racist culture of our DT area.... but I was, and I let that get to me and I silenced myself.

Through all of this, I believe that being here at a PWI made me more aware of my blackness. It made me appreciate myself, and those that paved the way for me to even step foot on this institution. I also learned what I could and couldn't tolerate in a majority white environment. I am thankful for the amazing black women I had as friends, and the black orgs that I was involved in, because it helped me feel at home... comfortable. I can also say that this strengthened my mental health because chronic stress can definitely result from feeling unwelcomed in this type of environment.

So why did I stay at this PWI? I stayed, because I have so much work to do. I believe that my voice can help so many black undergrad students through the tough time of being the minority at a PWI. I also became attached to the city... a city that has been called one of the poorest in the nations. A city where the residents of color work on campus and can't receive a living wage, yet their ancestors built this billion dollar institution on their backs. I came back, because my work here is not quite done. The academics and my grad program is amazing, but this city and the residents taught me a lot about myself. This is why I always stress to students the importance of giving back to the community, because we have privileges that many people don't have. Through all of the hardships and sometimes feeling alone, I too, STILL belong at this PWI. My education is just as important as any other person... as any other white person.

Teen Pregnancy Among Black Girls in Rural Counties and Why No One is Doing Anything About It

I am currently at my internship chatting with a co-worker and as he is doing a needs assessment he runs across a statistic that states, in a year time span, there are 48 per 1,000 live births from mothers ages 10-19. 37 of those live births were from black mothers. This statistic was based from a certain rural county in Georgia. The fact that majority of these teen mothers are black shows one thing... a racial health disparity. Even though teen pregnancy rates in the United States are declining, there is still a disparity in these statistics. Similar statistics are reported throughout the country and at this point I keep asking myself, when will our country adopt comprehensive sexual health education for students?

Barrier to access of all contraception

When we look at rural communities we must consider the fact that there will be a barrier to access of any type of health-related care, because of the way the system is set up. Majority of people living in rural counties are uninsured and lack access to care because jobs are scarce and low-paying. This environment makes it hard for girls to get contraceptives from condoms to IUDs. If parents are uninsured how can they provide the best care for their kids? Depending on the service, a visit to the doctor to receive a LARC (Long Acting Reversible Contraceptive) can cost up to $1,000. I'm a college student and can't afford that, how can teenage girls afford birth control? There is also a stigma in these communities. In small towns, everyone knows each other, so if Carol sees Linda's daughter at Target buying condoms, she is bound to tell. People can't fathom the fact that a girl is trying to protect herself from a sexually transmitted infection and prevent pregnancy, because they think that sex=impurity. We must change this mindset of people so they can understand that giving teens the freedom to choose for themselves sexually will overall improve their quality of life and prevent teen pregnancy.

Lack of sexual health education

If the area is of low socioeconomic status there is a high chance that the school system isn't great. If the government can't put money into these schools we know for a fact that these schools can't afford comprehensive sexual health education. This means that people/teachers who aren't qualified to teach sexual education will end up teaching sexual education that doesn't come from a curriculum but more from what they have "heard". Schools in southern rural counties are also teaching abstinence only classes. By telling students not to do something or that something is "bad", makes them more inclined to do it. We have to give students the option to choose for themselves and what's best for them. Telling girls to take a virginity pledge won't decrease birth rates, providing condoms in schools will.

Considering these factors, and the fact that black teens are four times more likely to become pregnant than white teens, what can we do to relieve this disparity? How can our government, education system, and church play a role in decreasing teen pregnancy rates among our community? Someone is willing to take on this responsibility, I know I am.

Consent Culture: Why Yes Only Means Yes

According to the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network, every 107 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. This should be shocking to me but it isn't. This is a statistic because perpetrators do not understand the importance of the word "no".

Consent. Consent is THE most important part of any sexual encounter. We must create a dialogue about consent to help people understand the importance of it when it comes to sex and the prevention rape culture. People have desensitized themselves to rape culture because it has become normalized in our society. The media has glamorized rape and people make a hobby out of victim blaming (holding someone accountable for their own mistreatment and not placing responsibility on the perpetrator).

What is consent? Consent is a VERBAL agreement to engage in sexual activity with someone. Consent should be sober and consent should include the word yes, and yes only. Body language is not consent. Body language is not consent. Body language is not consent. Someone can also withdraw consent at any time, which means that no matter how far you have gotten with someone, no still means no. We fail to realize that consent isn't just some made up construct, it is the right to our own bodies, a right to say no.

Consent culture starts at early childhood. We must teach our boys (I say boys because men are the main perpetrators of rape against men, young boys, girls and women) what consent is and help them understand that no consent means no sex. We need to teach our boys not to rape and tell them that no matter what a woman is wearing or how she is acting that never gives you the permission to take advantage of her sexually. There is no such thing as "she was asking for it" or "she could have escaped". It's time to stop thinking with your penises and use your brains and understand that YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE. It doesn't matter if it is your girlfriend, wife, or baby mama... if she doesn't want it, respect her "no" and move on.

I really never understood why it's so hard for people to understand that consent is simple, it's just a series of questions you have to ask in order to engage in sexual relations with someone. It's not complicated, I promise. Many people have never heard of consent and here I am typing this post to promote consent culture. If you can spread the word or this message, please do. Maybe it could prevent sexual assault and rape.



Listen to this song by a brotha, Ro James, singing about *gasp* CONSENT!

***If you or anyone you know has experienced sexual assault please contact:
https://ohl.rainn.org/online/
1-800-656-4673 [24/7 hotline] 
The Cottage Athens: http://www.northgeorgiacottage.org/ CRISIS HOTLINE 1-877-363-1912
Georgia Network to End Sexual Assault: Rape crisis centers in the state of Georgia
http://www.gnesa.org/page/rape-crisis-centers-georgia

Sources:https://rainn.org/statistics

Treat Yourself: Valentine's Day for Singles

Missed out on cuffing season? Your main not texting you back? Valentine's Day is around the corner and it's really not too late to slide in some DMs but just in case you're single on VDay here are five things you can do on the day of love!

1. Netflix and Ice Cream
What's better than Netflix and chill? Netflix and ice cream! Ice cream is better than any boo or bae in my book. Grab your favorite ice cream, open up your laptop and indulge yourself in some great movies and frozen milk. I recommend Talenti gelato, it is literally the best thing ever. Also, here is a list of amazing must see Netflix movies:

• Twinsters
• Pulp Fiction
• Beyond the Lights (Sap movie, I know :/ )
• Training Day
• Forest Gump
• The Wood
• Coming to America
• Mean Girls
• Grease
• What Happened, Miss Simone?

And of course you can binge watch some TV shows: Making a Murderer, OITNB, A Different World, Jane the Virgin, The Bernie Mac show and many more!

2. Go on a date with your friends
My favorite Valentine's day was when my friends and I dressed up (we stunted on everybody and their momma) and went to dinner at a nice restaurant. Get your best single girl friends together, hop on groupon and have fun! Take a pole dancing class, paint and drink at Sip and Strokes, go bowling, listen to poetry at a club, have a picnic, or take a road trip. Your girl friends will take your mind off of being lonely on VDay and help you realize that it's truly just another day of the year.

3. Throw a party
Why be sap when you could have a lit Vday? Throw a pink and red themed party Vday weekend and invite everyone (single and cuffed). Have chocolate refreshments, drinks, cards and a playlist full of Future and Luther Vandross...  it would probably be the best function ever.

4. Try something new
Do something you have never done before.. try Yoga, knitting, read a new book, build a house, or make a bucket list and start scratching off stuff!

5. Shop
There is nothing like retail therapy. The end.